Nov 28, 2011

Gratitude

 On Thanksgiving morn at my normal early rise...this scene was outside my bedroom window at my parents house.
 Facing down (an decline of a green ski slope) their driveway....notice the dryness on the sunny side. They only have a handful of hours on their side of the mountain.
 Ham it was...
 My son baked the pies. I did the rest. My father kept up with the dishes (very important part) and took care of mom.
Backside of their home. Note the build up of snow from what comes off the roof...
Grateful. Thankfulness. My mom was in the hospital for three days only a few days before this day. She has some serious health issues. (note the oxygen sign by the door) Dad is doing it all. ...and I do mean all
.....and I am moving to San Diego in 25 days.  I will be down again within those days. This time I was able to dust the house, take care of the bathrooms, cook (with lots of leftovers), clean kitchen....if I can't get here every three months as I have for the past two years....looking into options...learning terms, learning exactly what my mother is dealing with, they are isolated, yes, by choice, but....thresholds are being reached. Dad has acknowledged that.

 I falter between future needs and present needs of my husband and son. ( I need to sign for a house on Dec. 29, 2011 in San Diego, receive my household goods on the 30th, and then set-up house) I'm afraid I will be on the road on Christmas day. Will there be 'room at the inn' for me?
My feelings are not unique...many women have experienced this stage in life. I have hope...and faith.
I also know, though, I have thoughts I've never had in my lifetime.
As John Adams remarked in his diary...."I wander alone, and ponder. I muse, I mope, I ruminate...I feel unutterable anxiety."
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