Nov 28, 2011

Gratitude

 On Thanksgiving morn at my normal early rise...this scene was outside my bedroom window at my parents house.
 Facing down (an decline of a green ski slope) their driveway....notice the dryness on the sunny side. They only have a handful of hours on their side of the mountain.
 Ham it was...
 My son baked the pies. I did the rest. My father kept up with the dishes (very important part) and took care of mom.
Backside of their home. Note the build up of snow from what comes off the roof...
Grateful. Thankfulness. My mom was in the hospital for three days only a few days before this day. She has some serious health issues. (note the oxygen sign by the door) Dad is doing it all. ...and I do mean all
.....and I am moving to San Diego in 25 days.  I will be down again within those days. This time I was able to dust the house, take care of the bathrooms, cook (with lots of leftovers), clean kitchen....if I can't get here every three months as I have for the past two years....looking into options...learning terms, learning exactly what my mother is dealing with, they are isolated, yes, by choice, but....thresholds are being reached. Dad has acknowledged that.

 I falter between future needs and present needs of my husband and son. ( I need to sign for a house on Dec. 29, 2011 in San Diego, receive my household goods on the 30th, and then set-up house) I'm afraid I will be on the road on Christmas day. Will there be 'room at the inn' for me?
My feelings are not unique...many women have experienced this stage in life. I have hope...and faith.
I also know, though, I have thoughts I've never had in my lifetime.
As John Adams remarked in his diary...."I wander alone, and ponder. I muse, I mope, I ruminate...I feel unutterable anxiety."

5 comments:

Woven Spun said...

Thinking about you during this time. I am not dealing with the same issues at all except for the stress and anxiety of moving. But add that to other issues, delays, chaos, and general hysteria at this point (movers are scheduled to be here in 1 week must pay rent on the new house starting the first of the month, even though we won't be there yet) and there is a paperwork snafu that will delay us from leaving when we are scheduled too. Insanity...all of it. But seriously, we need to just hang in there cause everything eventually has a way of working out like they were supposed to....maybe not like we wanted them to, but that's another story. So hang in there and keep smiling :)

Stephanie said...

Good luck with all you have to deal with...we all do at some point.

I would think the sun of San Diego will go far in helping to cope.

Cathy said...

So hard to leave loved ones behind at this stage, I know.

You are betwixt and between, and I hope with all my heart that you land safely and happily.

zippiknits said...

It is heartrending to leave behind people you love so dearly but who are also very ill. May you be comforted to know that you were able to help as much as you could while you were nearer by.

Sending lots of love your way.

sonia a. mascaro said...

Hi Paula,
I agree with your friends... it is so difficult to leave loved ones behind when moving to San Diego...

The pies looks delicious. Congratulations to your son.

Much love to you all!